My Bad Day
by Eurgh
Summary: After an accident on the way home from work, Elliot is changed forever. Her friends must try to help her live and move on, all the while hurting themselves. R&R, first chapter somewhat violent though definitely PG13, character rape.
1. Chapter 1

"Frick!" Elliot Reid slammed her fist onto the horn of her car. It made sense that, on the first day in over a month that she had stayed late at work, her car would break down. Blowing her bangs out of her eyes, she flipped out her cell phone. "Easy, Elliot. Breathe. You can just call information and get someone to tow your car to the nearest auto shop. See? It's all fine."

About ten minutes later, she had managed to get someone to tow her car- if she were willing to wait an hour. Naturally, everything that could go wrong was. That was the way her life worked. If one bad thing happened, she might as well prepare herself to be in for the long haul because there was no way the rest of her day would go well.

She should have predicted something like this when she first got up in the morning. Her hair hadn't been very cooperative in its straightening- and looked horrible all day. She had slipped on some coffee when she first walked into the hospital. It was just one of those days.

"Double frick!" She groaned as she knocked over her coffee into her lap. The blonde jerked open the door, and hurried to get under the street light to get a better look at the stain. It would be fine, with three washings in bleach. With a sigh of relief, she realized it was a surprisingly warm night (God, she had never stayed three hours late before!), a peaceful place by a park. She leaned against the car, drumming her fingers lightly on her arm.

And she paused. Were those-

"If you scream, you're dead!" A voice hissed in her ear as a hand clamped over her mouth. Whoever it was, his other arm had jerked across her chest to pin her arms still. She froze. "I have a gun, and I will kill you. Got that?"

-footsteps.

She gave a short, terrified nod, and the hand released her. Without thinking, she let out a loud shriek and tried to jerk away from the arm clamping across her chest. She prayed someone- anyone!- was close enough to hear her scream, to come and save her from whatever was about to happen. The man- as she had easily realized he was- grunted as she elbowed him in the gut with her newly freed right arm.

Thank God for apple thieves.

She ran forward as he released her completely to press a hand to his stomach. He grabbed at her hair as she darted forward, jerking her onto the ground. She twisted around, desperate to make him let go of her. Her hair tugged painfully at her scalp. She shrieked again.

_Why didn't I just stay in the car?_

"Shut the hell up!" The man grunted, shoving her to the ground. She tried to kick at him, but he had a strong grip on her and held her down. "Just shut up!"

Her breath came in short gasps- she needed to think. What could make him leave her alone? He obviously didn't care about the car- wouldn't he have just shoved her to the ground, and gotten in?

"I called someone to tow my c-car!" She gasped out. Were those tears? Not surprising. She had always cried easily. "He'll be here soon, any minute!"

She flinched when the felt the barrel of a gun pressed against her back, and sucked in her breath.

"I warned you, bitch!" His voice spat in her ear. "I warned you, I can kill you, I will kill you!"

In that moment, Elliot Reid realized that these might be her last moments alive. He kicked the back of her knees, and she fell against the sidewalk. She cried out softly, and the man crammed his hand against her mouth to silence her. At the foreign object shoved in her mouth, she followed instinct- and bit him hard. It was a natural reaction, a stupid mistake. She hadn't even really meant to.

"Fuck!" The man howled, jerking backwards and firing the gun.

As the bullet struck her arm, she found herself wondering if it was an accident or if he had done it as punishment. Had the trigger just slipped? Had he planned on shooting her if she disobeyed? She screamed again, and grabbed her right arm. She could taste blood on her lips- had they scraped against the concrete?- and wondered if it would swell. Her arm was burning- was the bullet still in, or had it simply grazed her? She wasn't sure, and she prayed it had just cut her.

"Shut the hell up!" He jerked her up again by her uninjured arm. She stumbled along numbly. He was going to kill her. She would die. Oh God, she couldn't die! She wasn't ready, she hadn't married anyone, she was too young!

_Calm down, Elliot, calm down! You'll make it through this. Just, offer him your stuff!_

"I have twenty dollars in my back pocket!" She twisted desperately. "I- I have credit cards in my car!"

"I don't want your money!" He laughed. "Come on."

She slammed her fist into his stomach, and tried to jerk away. He tightened his grip on her arm. She flinched back, terrified of another gun wound. She found herself thinking of her friends (yes, anything but what was happening, so unreal, it wasn't happening, no). How would Carla have handled this? Oh, Turk was always with his wife when they went home (wasn't he?). He would keep her safe. Even if she were alone, she would find a way out of it. What if it were J.D. or Turk under attack? They would be strong and fight! They wouldn't have been reduced to tears from just a few shoves.

"Fuck!" He hissed, shoving her into the ground again. Elliot let out soft cries as he slammed her face into the pavement, beating the back of her head. After what seemed like an eternity- though it was actually just a minute or so- he released her, and flipped her on her back, wrapping his hands around her throat.

She squeaked softly as her airflow was cut off, digging her fingernails into his wrists. She felt the skin give a small pop beneath them and soon felt the familiar warmth and stickiness of blood on her fingertips. For a second, she went limp, blacked out. He released her throat, and pulled her to her feet. She dazedly stumbled forward as he dragged her. Once she had regained her bearings, she screamed and kicked the back of his knee, turning on her feet to flee. His fingers snatched at her hair, and she lost her balance, falling in front of him again.

"Damn! Come on," He pulled her further into the park. She suddenly realized what was going to happen.

"Please, don't do this!" She cried softly, trying to hold back the tears. "Please, don't rape me, please!"

He ignored her.

"Please, oh God! I'm begging you, I'm still in college, I can't have this happen!" She cried out. Yes, it had been a lie, and a damn good one. If he felt sorry for her, wouldn't he let her go? She hoped so.

"Come on."

"I am gonna kill Barbie for leaving me a barely stable patient to watch the whole damn night." Perry Cox growled as he leaned against the counter, running his hands through his hair. "Four hours, I have had to watch his vitals, whereas _my_ patients don't get any attention from their doctor."

"Oh, don't whine so much!" Carla smirked at him. "We've all got the night shift, too. Bambi'll keep you company. And we all know you like the whole 'feeling needed' thing."

"I would, however, take Barbie over Martha." The man insisted with a frown, pausing to consider if he had used that name before. He had. Damn.

"Mm-hmm. If Elliot's patient is stable now, then focus on your patients." Carla rolled her eyes at the obvious solution. "My God, you're sometimes more dramatic than her."

"Um, Dr. Cox?" A nervous intern, obviously working in the ER, approached him cautiously.

"Yes, peon?"

"There's a rape case downstairs." She fiddled with her hair.

"And I care because?"

"Well, we, um, don't know what to do. Should we admit her for, um, injuries or just keep her downstairs until someone can see her?" The intern was obviously terrified. "We're re-really swamped, and, um, well…"

"And where, may I ask, is Dr. Morrison? He is in charge of you tonight, yes?" He crossed his arms, and raised an eyebrow.

"Um, we don't really, um, know where he is." She cringed, expecting a fierce rebuttal. "Th-That's why no one knows what to do. We think that the doctors, um, kinda left to get drunk or something. We don't really know where any of them are."

"My God, do I have to do _everything _around here?" He rolled his eyes, and brushed past her without a word.

"He's in a bad mood." Carla explained to the girl.

"So, why exactly didn't you know what to-" Dr. Cox snapped at another intern working the ER as he approached the room they had moved her to. He stopped short, obviously caught off guard.

"Um, sir, to what?" The intern asked softly. He noted that the (in)famous doctor in Sacred Heart was starring wide-eyed at the blonde crying on the table. He peered at her himself. She was pretty beat up. Her lip was cut, and her eyes swollen (either from crying or blows, he couldn't tell which). She was gripping a blood-soaked spot on her shirt, and blood was showing decently through her pants as well. The red imprints of fingers would leave a butterfly bruise on her neck. Her clothes were on inside out, and her hair tousled. Small scratches and bruises littered what skin was visible.

Even so, no one ever saw Dr. Cox pause like that. It was likely close to losing control for him (though, he had to admit, he had heard stories of reactions worse than this).

"Barbie."

"Dr. Cox?" Elliot looked up, eyes red from crying and mascara running down her face.

"Why did no one tell me that it was Barbie?" The doctor glared at the young intern, whom tried to stammer out some reply. "Don't answer. Just go find Kelly and her better, blacker half. Now."

The intern hurried away, too afraid to try to understand who the hell Kelly was.

"Hell, I'd better do it." Perry Cox turned to leave. His solution to awkward situations was always the same- avoid at all costs.

"No, I really do think that would be a good idea-" J.D. found himself interrupted from his riveting conversation with Turk by a familiar whistle.

"Rachel, Gandhi, we have a situation downstairs that the interns are too dumb to deal with." Dr. Cox began. "So-"

"What is it?" J.D. turned towards him mentor, silliness with his best friend only half out of his mind.

"Wow, Rachel, I sure don't know. I wasn't going to tell you anything, but just felt like announcing it because I am so obviously as idiotic as the rest of you peons! You see, I just love to be interrupted when there is news that may or may not be important because…"

J.D. suppressed a groan. It was nearly impossible to derail Dr. Cox any time he was preaching at anyone, particularly his would-be protégé.

"Why the hell didn't you come tell me that Elliot was that rape patient?" Carla stormed into the lobby, her glare softened by worry for her friend.

"What?" J.D. stared at her. That would have been one of the things to stop him.

"Barbie's downstairs. I want you and Gandhi taking care of her." Dr. Cox glanced down at Carla. "I didn't get the chance."

"I'm gonna go check on her." Carla headed after her husband.

"Elliot, what happened?" J.D. hurried into the room.

"Can we talk about it later?" Elliot looked at him. He glanced at her state, and paused.

"What's that?" He pointed to the arm.

"The ra-" She paused, unable to get the word out. "Guy shot me."

"Elliot." Carla hurried into the room, followed by Turk. "Are you okay?"

"Believe it or not, I've been better." Elliot flinched as J.D. lifted her sleeve to check the gunshot. A bullet was buried in her arm. He was glad it wasn't too deep, and would be easy to fix.

"Man, Elliot. Is there anything I can do?" Turk looked at her. She met his eyes, and shook her head. Turk touched her hand, which stiffened under his touch. "He was black, wasn't he?"

The room was silent. She nodded briefly.

"I'm so sorry. You know that we're not all like that."

"I know, Turk. It doesn't change anything between us."

J.D. glanced down at her. Rape patients frequently were like this; often focusing on friends and family to avoid the crime. It was a common reaction to try to seem like everything was normal, but he was surprised it was the one Elliot was showing. She was a drama queen, wasn't she? She had claimed it herself once. He would have expected her to be one of the victims that was in hysterics.

Then again, he had never really seen her in an event quite like this.

"I think you might need some stitches. Would you rather have a female doctor for the examination?" He asked his friend. God, it was weird to talk to her like she was a patient.

"Yeah, that'd be great."

Oh, thank God! He had no desire to see her battered and broken.

"I'll go find someone. Turk?"

"Coming, buddy."

Carla stood to leave with her husband.

"Um, Carla? Could you just sit with me for awhile?" Elliot asked softly. "I know, you have to go help out with the patients, but… I could really use a friend right now."

"Sure thing." Carla sat back down.

The rest was a blur for Elliot. She answered questions numbly, as if it weren't her voice speaking.

As if she weren't the victim.

Carla looked her over as the doctor made her remove her shirt. A few shallow cuts skirted her back, less frequent than the bruises. The imprint of fingers on her upper left arm was already darkening, leaving way to a nasty bruise. The nurse noted that her inner thighs were darkening as well once she had stripped down.

"Where did these cuts from?"

"Beer bottles." Elliot answered. "I think there were a couple of broken ones littered throughout the tunnel thing."

"So, we'll probably want to give you a tetanus shot."

"Alright."

Numb, broken, ruined. Dear Lord, who would want her now? Keith- no, Keith deserved better. She was just the girl that couldn't even spit out her feelings to him, let alone deserve all the love he gave her. She flinched and gasped when the doctor gently pried the bullet out of her arm.

"Dr. Reid?"

"Yeah?"

"We'll keep you overnight to make sure no lead stayed in the gun wound. Other than that, you'll need some painkillers and stitches, but you should be able to leave by tomorrow morning."

"Thank you."

Elliot sat silently with Carla for a few minutes, neither girl quite sure what to say.

"How'd it happen?"

"I…" Elliot frowned, bunching the hospital gown in her hands. The morphine had blurred her memory- she had seen the gynecologist, hadn't she? Had she taken a shower yet? She hoped so, because she wanted him off her. "I don't want to remember right now, kay?"

"Yeah, got it." Carla paused. "Look, Elliot, I'm so sorry. Have you talked to the police?"

"Yeah."

"I-" Carla paused, glancing at her pager. Its beeping had interrupted her next thought. "I gotta go. You okay? Do you want me to send someone else to sit with you?"

Elliot paused. Was she okay? She didn't really know, the numb fuzziness of morphine having overtaken her mind. She gave a brief (and sleepy) nod. So much for a romantic evening with Keith, like she had planned.

"Alright. I'll send J.D. or Turk in to hang out with you. Should you call your parents or something?"

"Not tonight, Carla."

"We'll get you transferred upstairs soon, okay?"

"Yeah…"

And then sleep.

It was definitely one of those days.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank y'all for reviewing. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

"Okay, she's sleeping." Carla stepped out of the room quietly.

"Good. How was she?"

"Bambi, I think she's been better." The nurse rolled her eyes.

"Anyway, so one of us will be with her at all times, okay? You know Elliot- she likes to have distractions. Carla, will you go get her some flowers or something for when she wakes up tomorrow morning?" J.D. asked.

"Yeah." She nodded.

"Good. Dr. Cox, she looks up to you- a little." J.D. paused, looking to his mentor. "Maybe you should talk to her or something, let her know you actually care."

"As I recall, I don't think I ever said I did." Perry raised an eyebrow.

"We all know you're a softie." Carla rolled her eyes.

"Turk, you and I will make sure that she's taken care of medically, and make sure we pursue this guy." When was the last time he was in control? But, this time, it looked like Carla wasn't going to take it and he wanted to help his friend. "I can't help but feel like we've forgotten something…"

"Have you guys seen Elliot?" Keith walked towards the group, dressed nicely in a suit. "She called to let me know she'd be late, but I haven't seen her all night."

"Oh." J.D. blinked at him. "Well, have fun guys, I have patients!" He scuttled away.

"Keith… Maybe you should wake for Elliot to hear this. She's sleeping, in there." Carla gestured.

"Is she okay?" He asked softly.

"Um… Sorta?" Turk supplied.

A bright light loomed over her, burning her eyes. Yawning, Elliot rubbed at them, blinking to adjust herself to the light. Oh, she was stiff- what was wrong with her? She could barely move without a flaming pain running through her limbs, spreading like wildfire. What the hell? Her sheets felt rough, and her usually comfortable pajamas foreign. The light was so bright, as if someone was trying to burn her eyes.

"Keith, why is the light on?" She mumbled out, covering them. Why was her voice so raspy, like she had been screaming? Why did her arm hurt, and what the butterfly bruises littering it, wh-

Oh my God, him, grabbing her, ripping her hair! She remembered, oh God, oh God, she remembered!

"Oh."

She sat up stiffly. No one had warned her about how sore she would be this morning! She wished they had, because this sure as hell surpassed her expectations. She rested her head against the headboard, flinching as the tender skin grazed it.

"Elliot! You're awake." J.D. smiled at her.

_"Kiss me back!" A rough voice, jerking her to his lips._

"J.D… Hi." She looked at him, trying to shake the memory.

"How're you feeling?" He asked.

_"Damn… Belt…" Dark fingers, fumbling with her belt. Don't touch me! She wants to scream it._

_"I'll do it."_

"Okay, I guess."

"Okay enough to talk to Keith?" Her friend gave her one of his familiar smiles.

"You guys didn't tell him?" She asked softly, blue eyes looking into his own. He nodded. What a relief! She could scarcely handle telling her fiancé as well.

"We thought it might be too much for you." He touched her hand gently.

_Rough hands, clamping over her wrist, dragging her- oh God, if she gets past that gate to the dark tunnel beneath she will be killed! Struggle, Elliot, struggle!_

"Thank you." She jerked her hand away, guilty eyes directed to the ground. He stared at her, slowly understanding, and she could feel his guilt in the room.

"Elliot, I wish I had gone with you. Like you offered." He said softly, suddenly serious. "This shouldn't have happened, not to you. You didn't deserve this."

_"You're the worst bitch I've ever done this to!" _

"J.D., you couldn't have guessed this would happen." She said softly, reminding herself all the while to keep her composure. It was nearly impossible, so maybe it was a relief when Dr. Cox came into the room.

"Nancy, Barbie." He nodded to each, as if it were a normal day, as if nothing had happened. Elliot could have kissed him for the kind act, even if it were for his own benefit.

"Hi Dr. Cox!" J.D. chirped. Elliot said nothing.

"And, as I am to take care of you despite the conflicting interests, how are you, Barbo?" Perry raised an eyebrow.

"I'm decent." She lowered her eyes, landing on a bruise on her arm.

_"Stop fighting me!" A hand digging into her arm, shoving her against the tunnel wall._

"So, I am supposed to ask what exactly happened." Dr. Cox said in a carefree manner, as if it were a normal patient. Technically, Carla had instructed him to ask, but it made no difference to him if Elliot knew that detail.

"I can't talk about it right now, Dr. Cox." She glanced at him. "Okay? I'm sorry, I just…"

_"Kiss me back!" And she does, desperate for this to end, certain she will die. _

And suddenly the room was silent, both men staring at her as tears run down her cheeks and she whimpered softly. J.D. glanced at his mentor, and shrugged. He had no idea what had made the water works begin.

"I just remember what I forgot!" He suddenly gasped.

"I thought it was to tell her little boy toy." Dr. Cox raised an eyebrow.

"Do not let the Todd near this room." J.D. finished.

"My God, Nancy, did you come up with that one all by yourself?" He rolled his eyes. "Carla already has Ghandi on it."

"Elliot," J.D. returned his attention to her as her sniffles subsided, "Can you please tell us what happened? No one was really sure, it was so crazy in here."

"No." She laughed hollowly. "J.D., I can't even tell my own family. How pathetic is that?"

"It's not pathetic, Elliot. It was… awful what happened to you." J.D. covered himself. It was not awful; it was horrendous. The night before, Carla could barely stop Turk and him from going out and looking for the asshole. No one had a right to hurt his friend, especially not like this.

Horrible, Elliot mused.

_"You're the worst bitch I've ever done this to!" _

_On the ground, broken bottles ripping open her back, as she cowers below the standing man._

Dr. Cox stiffened himself as the blonde flinched, gripping the sheets tightly. Why Barbie? Of all the damn people in this hospital, it had to be Barbie. Granted, he knew he would have lost it if it had happened to Carla instead, but this was Barbie! His intern, the first to stand up to him honestly. He remembered how strong she was that day, with Molly's words in her ear. Now, staring at her broken form, he wanted to destroy the man that had hurt her.

"I guess." She twisted the blanket in her hands, hardly able to breathe. "You know, the police officer told me a girl not much older than me was raped and killed in the same place. I guess I'm lucky then, huh?"

No, not really. J.D. didn't voice this thought, and instead gave her a half hearted nod.

"Lucky?" Dr. Cox muttered before he could stop himself. "You know, Barbo, I think that you may be a little off on that assumption, because no rape patient is lucky. Ever."

She didn't reply, just continued to muse on her own thoughts.

"Elliot?" Keith walked in. He gasped at her condition, rushing to sit by her. "Oh my God, Elliot, what happened to you?"

"You said you told him!" Elliot shrieked.

"I did. Elliot, he means the bruises and stuff." J.D. explained softly.

"Babe, are you okay?" He sat beside her, gently brushing some hair from her eyes.

_Dark, running, a rough hand entangled in her hair and pulling her to the ground._

She jerked back, eyes wide with alarm.

"Is she okay?" He glanced at Dr. Cox.

"Well, I would guess not from the way she's acting, but that may just be a beginners guess. Weren't you two getting married next week?" He asked.

"Damn!" Elliot cursed under her breath.

"Elliot… You cursed." J.D. blinked at her.

"I should have… I mean…" She groaned tearfully, pulling away from Keith's comfort. Why hadn't she told him she was engaged? Wouldn't he have taken pity on the young bride? "No more than a freakin' college student." She recalled her earlier lie.

"What?" Keith looked at her.

"I just… Told him some lies, so maybe he'd pity me and let me go. I told him I was still in college. I should have told him I was engaged!"

She now received the strange looks from all three men.

_"Hey girl!" He gives her a strange look. "What's your name?"_

_"Elliot." She mumbles, scared he will still kill her._

_"Elliot. Take care of yourself!" Same strange look, digging to her soul, breaking her apart when she wants to hurt him._

_"I will." And he is gone._

"Elliot…" Carla walked in. "Honey, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." No, she was not.

"Ho-kay, now while I normally would not care, I believe Barbie is a _little_ over stimulated right now, so you all should probably leave so I can check her bruises and discharge her." Dr. Cox interrupted Carla's reply. One by one, they filed out.

"Thank you." She said softly.

"Alright, Barbo, now you've got to show me your bruises. And calm down, I will not be touching you unless absolutely necessary." He added, noting the look of fear on her face. He had used his normal tone, sounding sarcastic; yet why did, this time, everything feel so different?

As she nervously let him take off her hospital gown, he remembered why- he cared about her, damn it all, and it killed him to see her like this.

"Did you know him?" He found himself asking softly, checking the small cuts littering her back among the bruises. They had been cleaned well.

"No. I don't even know his name." She sniffed as she turned to face him. She felt vulnerable, empty, broken- and everything hurt. She was glad he had given her a bra from home to cover with before he looked at her, as uncomfortable as it already was.

"Why the hell-" He stopped himself, trying to remain detached as he examined her injuries. He ignored the growing fury when he saw the fingerprint bruises, the small crescent cuts made only by nails. He kept it at bay when he saw the strangulation marks, the dark bruising on the inside of her legs. He narrowly avoided exploding at the gun shot wound.

So, it didn't make sense that a small slap mark on her face should upset him so much.

"What the hell happened to you, Elliot?" He demanded suddenly, turning to stare at her. "What the hell did this guy do to you?"

Her face slowly crumbled, and soon she was sobbing, mumbling as she went.

"It hurt… A-And then, he shoved me, beat me, and I couldn't br-breathe, I knew he was gonna k-kill me!" She sobbed. "And… I kissed him back, like he said! I kissed him back, I undid my belt, I unbuttoned my shirt, because I thought he w-would kill me anyway, I-I thought it might give me a chance of living!"

And she collapsed against him, unintelligible in her sobs that wracked her body and hurt so badly.

If Perry listened closely, he could hear her mantra:

"I kissed him back… I kissed him back…"

"You have to do this." Carla offered the phone to her friend a few hours later, both girls sitting in Elliot's apartment. Turk sat on Carla's other side, and J.D. beside him. Dr. Cox, surprisingly, found himself planted in an arm chair off a distance, while Keith got drinks in the kitchen. "They have a right to know."

"Can't it wait?" She asked softly.

"No." Carla glanced at the scribbled number for the Reids residence in her hand.

"Carla, please, I… They were so excited about the wedding." Elliot frowned. "Daddy will be so disappointed in me."

"Barbie, he's a doctor, and a damn bad one if he would even think to be upset with you for what happened." Dr. Cox supplied darkly. Something about having her break down against him, something about the way she was so horrified with herself for something any woman would have done, made him feel… angry. And, surprisingly, not with her, but the bastard that had dared to make her so weak and hurting.

"Yes, Elliot, and you need to tell them!" Carla sighed and dialed the number herself. "Mr. Reid? Hello, this is Nurse Espinosa- I work with your daughter… No, sir. I'm going to hand the phone to Elliot now. She has something to tell you."

"Daddy? Oh God, you guys, I can't… I can't do this!" Elliot squeaked, running a hand through her hair and flinching as it tugged at the delicate scalp. "No, Daddy, I'm not pregnant… Yes, I know, Thank God, but um… See, Daddy, last night I was beaten and raped in a park."

Elliot paused. Had she truly said it, admitted it aloud? She bit back a sob. She had to keep her composure on the phone, with her father. He- she couldn't disappoint him.

"N-No, I'm okay, I think. I just needed a few stitches and a bullet removed- yes, Daddy, it was at gunpoint." She paused, as if he had said something that bothered her. "Yes, I think that Keith understands that we need to push the wedding date back some. He's a doctor too, Daddy, and he saw some of my bruises! I need to heal!"

Keith came back into the room, offering a glass of water to his fiancé. She hardly noticed through her tears.

"Yeah, I'll come visit this week. S-Sure thing. Will Barry be there? Okay, good, I'll see you tomorrow then. I love you too."

After she hung up, she stared at the phone in her hand for a few minutes. The room was uncomfortably quiet, as J.D. noted. It was rarely quiet around Elliot Reid. But something had changed, just the previous night, and he wondered if things would ever be the way they were once.

"Elliot…" Carla said hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah." No. "I'm good."

"Are you sure?" J.D. gently touched her knee.

_Jerkily squeezing her bare waist, the dark hands bruising her flesh. She flinches as the nails pop the skin one by one, and tries to pull away._

_"Do not fight!" He threatens in her ear._

"I'm fine, you guys!" She snapped, jerking her knee away. "Just a little stressed, just a little tired. I'll be okay."

"So, you're going to see your family for a little while?" Keith asked gently, easing her back into safer conversation. "Do you need me to stay here, let you handle this on your own?"

"Yeah. When my dad repeated what I said, I heard my brother Bradley pretty much freaking out in the back round." She sighed. J.D. nodded; so it did run in the family. "Looks like I'll have to deal with all four brothers, and my parents."

"Maybe everyone will be normal around each other for something like this." Turk offered.

"Yeah. Right." Elliot huffed. "But I'll probably stay for about a week, and let everything heal up a little before I go back to the hospital. Please, you guys, try to keep this quiet."

"Barbie, by now the whole hospital knows." Dr. Cox interrupted. "I mean, for God's sake- you looked like hell. Word spreads fast, even without Nurse Roberts."

As the group slowly headed home, J.D. took her aside.

"Elliot, I know you and I know you're not okay. Call me, let me know how you're doing. Okay?" He touched her arm. Was it really six years ago that they had met, timid interns more afraid of Dr. Kelso than killing a patient? Now, so far along, and they were still so close- which made this much harder.

"I will, J.D. Bye." She shut the door as he left. She leaned against the door, trying to breathe, trying to think. Oh, how long ago had she been planning her wedding to Keith, doubting herself? She looked at her fiancé, so kind and gentle on the couch. How could she explain how she felt?

She sucked in a deep breath- oh God, why did everything hurt so badly? No, she could never explain the way she felt to him. Her neuroses, once so important, hardly matter now. Soiled, stained, ruined- can she never again be Dr. Reid, helping someone else through something hard.

She remembered a rape patient- Lisa, if she remembered correctly- just a few months ago.

"You can't understand how I feel, Dr. Reid." The small girl had whimpered tearfully. "All I want to do it go and hide, and every time someone touches me I feel his hands."

Well, she thought as she remembered J.D.'s gentle touch on her arm, that was very true. But Lisa hadn't mentioned that awful feeling of humiliation, of shame! Dr. Cox had seen her, in hysterics. But he didn't show it. Breathing out, she went to sit with Keith before she left the next day.

She was grateful when he opted to sleep on the couch.

"Elliot!" Barry stopped short at the sight of his sister. She had dressed in clean clothes, granted a bit bulky, but there was no hiding what had happened. "Oh my God… Dad told me, but Jesus Christ!"

"Hey Barry." She said numbly, already irritated to be home. "Can we not talk about it?" She was sore- almost worse than the day before- and her head was aching.

"Yeah. Come on, little girl, we're going home." He touched her shoulder.

_"Shut up, bitch!" Her shoulder slams against the wall._

And Elliot Reid jerked away from her brother, suddenly very, very lonely.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey. Sorry it's taken so long! Third chapter is here now, so enjoy it.**

* * *

Dinner had always been an awkward time within the Reid household. As far back as Elliot could recall, her parents were- at best- tense with one another. When she was younger, there would be arguments about her mother's many affairs or her father's single affair with the butcher. Often, her father would demand her mother stop being such a "damn bitter alcoholic that whines about her freakin' perfect life", or her mother would demand he pay her more attention.

Things didn't exactly improve as she got older. For example, once her mother suspected Barry was gay, there were many discussions about the "sin of homosexuality". Or when Bradley didn't make straight A's the second semester of his Sophomore year in high school; for months, her parents were passive aggressive and mean.

Heck, when she even mentioned missing Consuela when she was twelve, she was lectured at dinnertime for weeks.

Perhaps that was she begged Barry to take her to McDonalds rather than force her to eat with her parents. She had realized about halfway home from the airport that she was starving; she hadn't eaten a bite since that awful night. It was a lifetime ago. It was just two days. Sometimes, it felt like it had just happened.

"Okay, Ellie, what do you want?" Barry asked.

"Cheeseburger." She said meekly as she remembered why exactly she hadn't eaten anything.

As he ordered, she sat down. God she was sore! Everything continued to ache, even when she took the stupid Tylenol Dr. Cox prescribed her. Barry joined her a few minutes later with food and drinks.

"How are you, Ellie?" His eyes searched her own. She wondered if he needed her to comfort him; after all, he had always been the most protective of her. She remembered the time he had tried to beat up her first boyfriend just for copping a feel. She couldn't imagine how he felt at that point. For all she knew, he felt worse than her.

"Awful." She said honestly.

"If I ever find out who hurt you like this…" He trailed off, eyes staring somewhere off behind her. She knew that he was angry.

"I'm okay, Barry." She tried softly. "I mean, I don't feel so great, but he could have been worse."

"Elliot, look at you." He reached out to touch her face, but pulled his hand back as she flinched. "For God's sake, you flinch away from me when I am both your brother and gay! Whatever he did, it's really hurt you."

No kidding, Elliot thought with a scowl. Still, she figured it had to be somewhat serious if her brother used her actual name, rather than his favorite nicknames for her ("Ellie", "little girl", "blondie", and others). She also noted that he had admitted his homosexuality aloud, something she couldn't recall ever hearing, even when he caught her reading his Playgirl magazines.

In that moment, she knew she would never tell him what exactly had happened to protect his feelings.

"No, no, I'm overreacting." She said with a small grin. "Barry, come on, you know me. I always freak out about everything, remember?"

It seemed to soothe him enough to concentrate on their food, which she found herself having difficulty eating. Every time she raised a fry to her mouth, let it touch her tongue, she could feel his tongue violating her mouth, feel his-

No, Elliot, she reminded herself, don't think about it.

"Eat up, Ellie." Barry stared at her. "Or you'll end up eating with Mom and Dad."

So she managed to get through the meal, barely choking down her food. As they finished, she glanced at her clock. About seven; so, her father would be in a hospital meeting and her mother either having sex with someone or in a yoga class by the time she got home.

"So, Bradley'll be there and so will Brent." Barry explained as they drove down the highway. "Mom might be- who knows where she is?- and Dad definitely will be."

"What about Kevin?" Elliot asked.

"He's flying in tomorrow- he was coming in anyway, don't get that look." Barry added with a glance at his scowling sister. "I mean, yeah, what happened to you was bad, but don't think that you're the only reason everyone's here. Not to sound bad, by the way, but just so you don't feel guilty or anything."

"Um… Thanks?" Elliot mumbled. Her friends thought she stuck her foot in her mouth a lot? Everyone in her family was far worse. She brushed the thought away, continuing to stare out the window at the familiar terrain from her childhood.

Silence prevailed the rest of the ride home.

"Come on… Come on…" Brent Reid twisted the game controller in his hand, muttering encouraging words to himself as he attempted to beat the game. And… So close….

BEEP!

Failure. With an immature sigh, he tossed the remote onto the couch next to him and leaned back to glance at the clock. Where the hell was Barry? He had gone to pick up Elliot over an hour ago. He had never been close to his sister- especially after she had thrown his favorite action figure into the lake when he had called her a crybaby. Even with a lack of closeness within his family, he definitely didn't hate his sister or think she deserved what she had gotten.

He paused in his thoughts, suddenly very curious as to what she was like these days. She hadn't visited home in two or three years; as far as he knew, she barely talked to his mother or father. The last he had heard from her was an impersonal wedding invitation for that weekend- undoubtedly cancelled.

This seriously sucked. Usually, he'd have Kevin to help him pass the time until Barry and Elliot got home. They'd probably end up breaking something and ending up with a lecture from their mother (ah, the frequent reminders of youth! Sometimes, he couldn't figure out if he had more lectures as a child or an adult).

Bradley was somewhere in the house, reading medical books. God, what a bore! Then again, he may have been distracting himself from thoughts of his sister the same way Brent had used video games.

"Brent, are you dead?" Barry's cheerful voice echoed throughout the large house as the door opened. "Bradley might have killed you by now with his seriousness."

"Not yet, man!" The young man stood up to go greet his brother and sister. Soon after, Bradley appeared from the study (Brent had to hide a smirk; he had so been right) and grinned at his brothers.

"I come bearing an Elliot, some bags, and leftover McDonald's!" Barry offered the fast food to his brothers as he dropped a pink bag on the floor. Bradley grabbed the sack, and peered around to look for his sister.

"Yours or hers?" Brent raised an eyebrow. He was perhaps the best in the Reid household at keeping a straight face while joking. Barry rolled his eyes, and gave him a light punch on the shoulder.

"Ellie, come on!" He called out.

"How do you undo the seatbelt?" She cried out from beyond the door. "Ugh! Frick!"

"I'll go help her." Brent offered.

"Hey," Barry put a hand on his chest to stop him, "Don't comment on her face or anything, okay? She's still really shaken up. If you have to, think of her like a patient, okay?"

"You act like I'm a complete idiot." Brent rolled his eyes. "I went through med school too, remember? I know how to act."

"Conflicting interests!" Barry practically sang as his younger brother walked out to the car. Bradley stood beside him.

"Didn't want to take the complete idiot crack?" He grinned.

"Nah," Barry smirked, "Way too easy."

"Ugh! This is so…" Brent heard his sister moan from within the car. The passenger door was flung open, and he couldn't help his grin. Classic Elliot; awkward, and yet slightly funny. "I got it undone at McDonald's!"

"Let me help you." He offered as he pulled the door open wider- and stopped in his tracks. She didn't look good, even with the makeup she had caked on her face. Luckily, he covered his slip-up with a fake trip, and grinned at her. "Not that I know how, but whatever."

After about five minutes, they managed to get it undone, and she stumbled out of the car. He took in the way she tensed as he touched her shoulder to help steady her, the way he could feel that she didn't want him near her at all.

"Thanks, Brent." She stood up straighter.

"Sure thing." He shrugged it off, trying to ignore the nagging feeling in his stomach. A huge part of him- the part that felt detached from this, from his sister- wanted to see her injuries, treat them, understand what was wrong with her. That same part had already diagnosed her with post-traumatic stress disorder.

And then there was the small part of him that didn't seem to be functioning past remembering her as a small girl, remembering the times they had gotten along well. Like the time when she had woken him up in a storm, terrified by the loud booms of thunder and flashing lightning. Or the time they had teamed up to pelt Barry and Kevin with water balloons, laughing that whole summer day that they spent in the branches of the apple trees.

These memories didn't match up with the sad girl covering her fear and pain with a smiling façade.

"So, my room where I'll be staying?"

"What?" Brent stared at her, oblivious to what exactly she had asked.

"Is my room still open?" She asked again, slowly this time.

"Yeah." He answered casually. "I'll take your bag up." He picked it up, and hurried off.

"So, you didn't warn him very much?"

"Not really, Ellie. He's fun to shock." Barry smirked. Elliot rolled her eyes, almost annoyed with him for using a situation like this to play games with Brent. But- as she hated to admit- Barry was right; Brent was pretty fun to shock. She turned to greet her oldest brother.

"Hey, Brad." She smiled. "You got a hair cut."

"So did you." He pointed out, and ruffled her hair. He felt guilt settle into his stomach as she flinched, and broke eye contact to stare at the ground. From the quick glance exchanged with Barry, it was obvious that his brother hadn't missed the attitude either.

"So, uh, who wants to watch TV?" Elliot offered as the awkward silence continued.

Both men nodded. TV sounded pretty good right then.

The Janitor rarely missed anything that went on in the hospital. He did miss the occasional occurrence (some janitors just don't pay attention to the happenings, and a man can't work every single shift). So, he found himself rather confused that, as he was returning from his first vacation day in six years, when Elliot wasn't there to greet him with her usual smile and greeting.

However, one can hardly dwell on such things (even though she hadn't missed a day in two years, to his calculations), and he went on with his day, albeit a little less cheerful.

"Hey, idiot."

"Janitor?" J.D. glanced up at the tall man in a jumpsuit. He wondered briefly what exactly he had done this time, but found himself a little too preoccupied to give it much thought. Elliot had yet to call him, even though she had promised to do so soon after she landed. As her friend, he was worried. As a doctor, he was very concerned.

Things had been tense throughout the hospital- well, so it felt. Turk had bee distracted all day, occasionally stopping to ask his friend if she had called yet. J.D. briefly wondered if it was harder for him, knowing the man that had raped Elliot was black, but brushed the thought aside. He (and his chocolate bear) knew that Elliot wouldn't hold it against Turk.

Carla, rather than acting distant and distracted, was a little… cranky with the lack of news of her best friend. She had been agitated all day, and J.D. had actually seen her berating an intern; hardly Carla behavior! Then again, even Dr. Cox was slightly off.

"Hey, idiot, are you listening?" The Janitor waved a hand in front of his face.

"Yes." He lied.

"Good. Now, where exactly is Blonde Doctor?"

Blonde Doctor? J.D. thought for a moment….

Elliot.

"She's taking the week to visit her family." He answered carefully, keeping a wary eye on the man in front of him.

"She doesn't visit her family." The Janitor raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know that?" J.D. stared at him, confused.

"Read her file. Shows she never takes time off." He answered. It was a lie; Elliot had told him so when they had been on that "date". He held back a smile as he thought about it, and how she still offered him a cheerful smile and greeting each morning, the way she always said hello and asked him about his life.

"Oh." J.D. paused. "Well, uh, her parents asked her to visit them when she had to postpone the wedding."

"Why is she postponing the wedding?" The custodian frown. Despite the fact that just a little further into conversation, and he could signal Randall to drop the three buckets of red paint on the unsuspecting doctor, he found himself actually curious as to the reason. Elliot, while generally freaking out about these things, certainly would have told him about it.

Damn day off. A new squirrel army wasn't worth missing out on hospital gossip.

"It's not really my place to say." J.D. frowned, ready to leave the conversation. He didn't really want to reveal Elliot's secrets to the Janitor; it wasn't his place, or his job. Elliot had asked them not to spread it around (even though Dr. Kelso and whoever was in charge of her private practice had undoubtedly found out by this point).

"What's wrong with Blonde Doctor?" The Janitor demanded, moving his hands to prepare himself for the signal.

"Look, you'd have to talk to her and she won't be back for a week!" J.D. groaned, glancing at his watch. Why didn't this guy ever realize he had patients and responsibilities?

Just… a little longer… The Janitor watched as Randall made the final tweaks from his spot in the open air vent, preparing to let down the staining mess, as Dr. Cox stopped beside him. Damn.

"Nancy, is there any particular reason that you are wasting your time here instead of seeing your patients?"

"The Janitor won't leave me alone about Elliot!" J.D. grumbled.

"He's being unreasonable!" Janitor explained with a frown. "He told me Blonde Doctor cancelled her wedding, but won't tell me why. You better not be lying." He made a threatening gesture towards the young doctor.

"Dr. Reid was brutally raped." Dr. Cox deadpanned. "Moving on, Lisa, we need to work on…"

He pulled J.D. away, whom was stunned by his mentor's bluntness.

And the Janitor stood very still, eyes wide, and realized he had never made the signal. For some reason, it didn't seem so important anymore.

"Dr. Cox, why don't you care about what happened to Elliot?" J.D. demanded as they were walking. "I mean, how can you be so casual about it? She's sort of your friend-"

"Barbie is not my friend." Dr. Cox raised an eyebrow. "And there is no point in worrying about something that doesn't concern me."

"You're her doctor, and I noticed you didn't diagnose her with post-traumatic stress disorder. What's that about?"

"Are you arguing with me, Newbie?"

J.D. paused, and swallowed hard.

"Nope, not at all." He grabbed a random chart. "And, Mr. Wilson needs me, so…"

"Mr. Wilson is my patient."

"I should go." J.D. hurried away.

"Move it." Carla snapped as she brushed past a terrified intern to place an IV into the frail woman's arm. How stupid were interns these days? She really didn't need to coddle them that much! "Didn't they teach you how to do this in medical school?"

"Y-Yes." The intern squeaked, confused by the abrupt change of character in the usually kind nurse. She paused, to look at the young man, and her gaze softened. It was easy to forget that very few people would be kind to the interns, and they needed all the help they could get, particularly when her thoughts were divided between her best friend and Isabella's cold.

"I'm sorry, Robbie." She smiled, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "I'm just worried about my daughter- she's sick-, and I let it get the best of me. It's fine."

"Oh…" Robbie sighed, obviously relieved. "Well, alright, Nurse Espinosa."

As Carla left the room, she pushed the encounter to the back of her thoughts. She was just having an off day; even if it wasn't an excuse, she had apologized. But it had proved what she had feared all day. She was acting like a bitch, even to the interns. With a sigh, she touched J.D.'s shoulder as she walked back behind the counter.

"Bambi, heard from her yet?" She asked as she busied herself organizing charts.

"No."

She glanced at him, wondering for a moment if she had projected her own worry onto him and imagined the tone. She could see true concern etched in his features, a strange mask for her husband's happy-go-lucky best friend.

"She's with her family." She leaned against the counter. "It's not like it's going to happen again, J.D. She probably doesn't want to deal with it."

"I know, I know." J.D. faked a smile. How could he explain this weird feeling? This protectiveness, this need to make sure she was really okay? How could he explain the guilt? The guilt of refusing the ride home she had offered him that night, simply because he had wanted to hang out with Turk for the hour in between his two shifts? The guilt of letting this happen to her?

"Bambi, are you in there?" Carla touched his shoulder.

"Yeah." He paused. "This is just so weird. I mean, not like… It shouldn't have been her."

"It is weird." Carla agreed with a frown. "But only because we care about her so much. If it was Jordan, would it be as weird?"

"No." J.D. admitted. "It's Elliot, though. So it is weird."

"And that's not gonna change." Carla shoved a chart into his hands. "Mr. Smith needs his doctor to pay him some attention, so I'd get going, Bambi."

Weird. It was weird. Because Elliot was Elliot, and nothing terrible happened to her. The worst was having that truck of stuff stolen or losing her father's financial support. She didn't…

J.D. shook the thoughts from his mind as he entered his patient's room.

"So, Mr. Smith…"


End file.
